EPHESIANS: The Head
EPHESIANS Number 61
Rather than expressing the idea of the submission of one class of people to another, our Lord (through the Apostle) urges mutual submission. While these verses address wives, we will discover shortly that much is said to husbands as well. What’s more, all of this will be tied back to our relationship with the lovely and wonderful Lord Jesus.
But there’s this one word that causes great discomfort to many.
It’s the word “head.” To ears sensitized to any hint of subservience and always on the lookout for signs of possible abuse, the idea that one member of the marital union is called “the head” to which the other is to subject themself can seem off-putting, even offensive. It can feel risky in the extreme.
We are told, “the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.” This certainly appears plain enough. Still, we must not forget HOW the husband is said to be the head of the wife. He is the head, we’re told, “just as Christ is the head of the Church.”
We’ve been discussing the Christlike idea of mutual submission. As we have seen, even our great Lord and Savior did not come to be served, but instead He came to serve us. He made Himself of no reputation, becoming like a servant, and submitting Himself to crucifixion on our behalf, we are told in Philippians 2:6-8.
The Greek word translated “head” here is (kefale’). (Kefale’) is a very nuanced word in koine Greek. The lexicons devote paragraphs, and some even multiple pages, to their discussion of this word.
Fortunately, we do not need to excavate the nuanced use of this word in ancient history to understand what the Spirit is saying here. Instead, we only need to carefully examine the context.
Who is the subject here? Wives!
What is necessary for a woman to be a wife? A husband!
In the verses that follow husbands will be the subject.
What is necessary for a man to be a husband? Why, a wife, of course!
A few verses later, we will discover that Paul is speaking of Christ and the Church. The Church is the body and bride of Christ. Every bride needs a groom. Every groom needs a bride. In the same way, every ‘body’ needs a ‘head.’
Do you see it?
Neither a wife nor a husband is complete without the other.
This is a concept we find expressed from the very beginning. In Genesis 2:18 “God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet [a fitting helper or partner] for him.’” (KJV 1900) When God brought the woman to Adam, Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23–24, KJV 1900)
It's obvious to all of us that being one flesh does not mean that two individuals have become one person. Yet the union is profound. Paul says of the body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12:25-27 that “when one part suffers, every part suffers” and that “if one part is honored, all the parts rejoice.” It is the same in marriage.
Clearly there are broken marriage relationships. People are human after all. The world system and the flesh exert a gravitational pull on all of us. What is being discussed here, however, is Father’s wonderful design for us. Healthy marriage is not about us, but instead it’s about our spouse. It displays the glory of God and thrives when each partner looks out for the interests of the other. When we realize this and make that our purpose, we experience beauty that can be found in no other way.
Paul speaks first to wives, and then to husbands. But He does so from the perspective of godly relationship where each one works for the good of the other. This might call to mind Romans 8:28 where we find God working for good in all things for His beloved people.
Ultimately, Paul expresses all this with the intention of communicating deep spiritual truth about the relationship God has with us.
Here, the Spirit in Paul is showing wives the path that best serves both members of the marital union. Living a one-flesh life with another works best when there is willing cooperation and a Christlike desire to serve rather than to be served. This is godliness, it is Love, it builds up, and it blesses husband, wife, children, and the union as a whole. Even more, it blesses the world. Why? Because the two can do far more together than they could do as separate individuals.
If all this talk of submission sounds difficult and risky, just wait. In the next segment it will be time for the husbands to buckle their seatbelts. Once again, the model is our lovely Lord Jesus Christ, and the form of submission we’ll discover in to coming verses has to do with the giving up of self and laying down of life for the betterment of another.
